I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
