Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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