i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
