When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
