my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
