He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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