Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
