FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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