Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
