I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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