well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
