I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
