I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
