in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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