elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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