I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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