i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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