Whod you bang
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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