you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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