How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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