"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
