Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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