It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
