im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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