when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
