apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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