i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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