It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
