I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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