We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
