i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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