well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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