ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
