how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
