You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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