Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize