You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Randomize
