Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
