The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
