i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
