idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize