Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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