The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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