I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
