just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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