Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
