it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she told me i tasted like america
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
