I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize