either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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