you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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