Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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