You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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