My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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