It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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