Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
