How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize