Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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