your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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